I know about half my posts revolve around how shit the WWF has become but here’s a prime example:

Royal Rumble 2010:

WWE Royal Rumble 2010

Royal Rumble 1994:

WWE Royal Rumble 1994

Now, one of these looks like a genuinely exciting, amazing event for all the family. The other just looks like a faggot GAP advert.

Ok so I’ve seen this error about 100 times when I put disc 1 in, follow the instructions, put disc 2 in and get a Content Install Failed.

To fix, go to your dashboard, go along to Settings then Memory. Find Forza 3, delete the corrupted data then start it up. Once into the menus, don’t pick install. Instead go to Free Play, pick a car etc. When you get to Track Select, go along to Fujima (Locked) and pick it. It will ask if you want to install. Pick yes and put in disc 2.

That’s what worked for me. Hope it helps.

Naught Cherry!

Sexy Lemon

Simon Simpkins, a father of two, said he was shocked at the “pornographic” poses when he bought the sour candy for his children Benjamin and Ofelia.

Mr Simpkins, of Pontefract, West Yorks, told The Sun: “The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter.

“The lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face. I demanded to see the shop manager and, during a heated exchange, my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park.”

Haribo said the sweets, which feature illustrations of lemon, lime and cherry characters, said the “fun” packaging was introduced in Germany in 2002.

A spokesman said: “This jovial MAOAM man is very popular with fans, both young and old.”

Everything about this story is fucking hilarious.

preferably as their kids are asleep.

They should be glad I’m not planning on introducing this system retroactively.  I’m including MEPs in this because Nick Griffin is number one of my list.

• why am I no longer able to drink in the street?
• why am I no longer able to go anywhere without being on CCTV 24/7?
• why is the porn I enjoy going to be illegal by the end of the year?
• why has political correctness gone mad?
• why are the police allowed to arrest me and hold me for weeks without charge?
• why is my writing this post probably against the law despite my right to free speech?

the list goes on.

I’ll tell you why. Because every MP that actually represents the rights of their constituents ends up vilified by the tabloid press and ends up quitting the cabinet over issues they feel strongly about. I understand where they are coming from. Being in the same room as the majority of houses of parliaments, money grabbing scum that they are, would drive me to murder in about 30 seconds.

London's riot plice hard at work

Currently, if an MP mis-represents their constituents or abuses their power, what do we do? We take away funding for their duck pond, we stop cleaning their moat. Never mind the fact they went to war against our wishes, voted for Trident submarines we didn’t want and use riot police on every peaceful protest they fucking see.

What we really need is a system as follows. When MPs sell their constituents out for more money and golf games with oil company executives, media barons and the like, we get to decapitate them nail their heads to the speaker’s chair in the House of Commons.

I’m too angry to continue writing so I’m just going to post this half assed, badly written piece of crap and go fetch my fucking paraffin.

here it is:

My top artists on Last.fm and Priest are in their rightful place at number 1. Plus it does an awesome flippy thing on each one. Last.fm, I love you again.

You are all jealous, I know

This is my desk in the office, complete with 2 1680×1050 monitors for dual desktop Megan Fox goodness, a shitty £1.56 Ikea lamp and the 24 empty cans of Relentless (plus 1 Rockstar) I have drunk in the last 3 weeks. I know you want it, but you can’t have it!

Article here.

Surely ’satisfactory’ is a relative term. If I’d just run some cunt over, ’satisfactory’ would imply that they were dead, dying or at least paraplegic.

The Jackson 4

Ok so we’re back and just about recovered from Hellfest in Clisson, France and it was, in a word, FUCKINAWESOME!

Getting there was pretty easy. Flight from Edinburgh to Paris, few beers in the airport followed by a 3 hour train journey to Nantes, few beers in the station then taxi to the camp site. Got our tents set up and set off on a trek to find beer. Of course, France is a horrible godless country and their supermarkets and booze shops close before 8 so we had to go on a 3 mile trek to find a pub. Eventually we found one and proceeded to get hammered  in a picturesque wee square as the sun set. We then headed to McDonalds and devour Big Macs.

On return to the camp site, we found the camp site cocktail bar and drank til we couldn’t stand. Chris disappeared to go roll around in a field full of cow shit trying write “Mike is Gay” as a crop circle. He then managed to lose his phone and get shot at. That boy needs a carer.

Day One

Hellfest 2009 - photo not by me!

Next morning, we trekked back to the shops and bought as much beer as we could carry and headed back to down it. The whole festival site was pretty well organised but we still managed to get lost trying to find our way in to see bands. I blame hangovers, French signs and my refusal to ask for directions. Finally got into the festival area and caught a bit of God Forbid as we queued for the beer tokens. They sounded as boring and generic as usual. After that, we got some beers and watched a few minutes of Backyard Babies. I love glam metal and these guys are good at what they do but I’ve always felt they missed something. It was the same watching them again. Can’t put my finger on it but I just don’t enjoy them that much.

After that we headed into the Extreme Market to go spend all our cash on hundreds of tshirts. The market was pretty good, nowhere near as huge as Wacken’s but a good selection of exotic band merch. Ended up with a Toxic Holocaust tshirt and a Heaven & Hell one. The missus got a sexy W.A.S.P – Crimson Idol shirt too. We then hit up the main stages for Eyehategod who sounded amazing. A band I’ve always liked, was nice to finally see them. Misery Index were on next, clashing with Pentagram who we later found out were a no show. Apparently Bobby got thrown off a plane. The Index put on a good show and I’m glad we didn’t stand about waiting for Pentagram.

Voivod were absolutely amazing and were met with a massive pop from the crowd. Their Pink Floyd cover topped off an excellent set. Papa Roach followed. Last time I saw those guys was 2002 and I had a blast. Unfortunately they’ve decided to write new material since then which I only know as the music from WWE shows. There was a small crowd enjoying it but they had to start their own “Papa Roach, Papa Roach” chant. I was embarrassed for them.

Next band we caught were the mighty W.A.S.P. Blackie Lawless may have put on a few hundred stone but that doesn’t seem to have slowed him down. A set packed full of hits. Inside the Electric Circus, Wild Child, Chainsaw Charlie were all highlights. Missed Entombed but I’m glad I stayed for the whole W.A.S.P set because they were the best band of the first day.

Down’s set was neither as tragically bad as the first time I saw them, nor was it as tight and perfect as the second time. It fell squarely in the middle of average and whilst I’ve got no complaints, I felt the whole thing got a bit boring, sorry Phil.

Anthrax were on next so me & Sharpo headed right up front for the pit. I’m not sure how I’ve managed it but at the age of 24, I’d not seen them before. I still kick myself for missing both the final John Bush tour and the Joey Belladonna reunion tours. The set kicked off with a few classics and the pit was suitably insane. Indians, Got The Time, Caught In A Mosh, Madhouse, Antisocial if I recall correctly. Dan Nelson’s voice is excellent and his stage presence is good. Only complaint was the new song which I really didn’t get. Maybe on a few more listens.

Hellfest Sculptures at the bonfire

Following a decent set were the heavy metal titans that are Heaven & Hell. I saw them last year and they blew me away. I don’t understand how a band who’s collective age is 235 can be at the top of their game but they are. Their Hellfest set was a blinder. The new album is one of my favorite new releases this year and they played a good mix of old and new stuff.

Last band of the day for us were Motley Crue and they were without a doubt the most disappointing band of the whole festival. They came out to massive cheer and proceeded to slaughter every one of their classics as Vince fucked up every line. The only words he hit were the ones we know he can’t hit any more and the whole thing was almost definitely overdubbed. The missus had been looking forward to seeing these guys for years but 5 songs into the set, she had to leave because they were that bad. As we headed back to camp site, we heard Mick Mars mangle a Hendrix track, Tommy Lee’s usual “I say Tommy, you leave because we are so abysmal” chat.

Back at the camp site, we downed a few beers, nursed our sunburn, abused some foreigners and passed out.

Check back tomorrow for my review of day 2.

Photos are sourced from Flickr under Creative Commons License. Each one links to the original, if  you object to me using them, let me know and I’ll take them down.