Ok so we’re back and just about recovered from Hellfest in Clisson, France and it was, in a word, FUCKINAWESOME!

Getting there was pretty easy. Flight from Edinburgh to Paris, few beers in the airport followed by a 3 hour train journey to Nantes, few beers in the station then taxi to the camp site. Got our tents set up and set off on a trek to find beer. Of course, France is a horrible godless country and their supermarkets and booze shops close before 8 so we had to go on a 3 mile trek to find a pub. Eventually we found one and proceeded to get hammered  in a picturesque wee square as the sun set. We then headed to McDonalds and devour Big Macs.

On return to the camp site, we found the camp site cocktail bar and drank til we couldn’t stand. Chris disappeared to go roll around in a field full of cow shit trying write “Mike is Gay” as a crop circle. He then managed to lose his phone and get shot at. That boy needs a carer.

Day One

Hellfest 2009 - photo not by me!

Next morning, we trekked back to the shops and bought as much beer as we could carry and headed back to down it. The whole festival site was pretty well organised but we still managed to get lost trying to find our way in to see bands. I blame hangovers, French signs and my refusal to ask for directions. Finally got into the festival area and caught a bit of God Forbid as we queued for the beer tokens. They sounded as boring and generic as usual. After that, we got some beers and watched a few minutes of Backyard Babies. I love glam metal and these guys are good at what they do but I’ve always felt they missed something. It was the same watching them again. Can’t put my finger on it but I just don’t enjoy them that much.

After that we headed into the Extreme Market to go spend all our cash on hundreds of tshirts. The market was pretty good, nowhere near as huge as Wacken’s but a good selection of exotic band merch. Ended up with a Toxic Holocaust tshirt and a Heaven & Hell one. The missus got a sexy W.A.S.P – Crimson Idol shirt too. We then hit up the main stages for Eyehategod who sounded amazing. A band I’ve always liked, was nice to finally see them. Misery Index were on next, clashing with Pentagram who we later found out were a no show. Apparently Bobby got thrown off a plane. The Index put on a good show and I’m glad we didn’t stand about waiting for Pentagram.

Voivod were absolutely amazing and were met with a massive pop from the crowd. Their Pink Floyd cover topped off an excellent set. Papa Roach followed. Last time I saw those guys was 2002 and I had a blast. Unfortunately they’ve decided to write new material since then which I only know as the music from WWE shows. There was a small crowd enjoying it but they had to start their own “Papa Roach, Papa Roach” chant. I was embarrassed for them.

Next band we caught were the mighty W.A.S.P. Blackie Lawless may have put on a few hundred stone but that doesn’t seem to have slowed him down. A set packed full of hits. Inside the Electric Circus, Wild Child, Chainsaw Charlie were all highlights. Missed Entombed but I’m glad I stayed for the whole W.A.S.P set because they were the best band of the first day.

Down’s set was neither as tragically bad as the first time I saw them, nor was it as tight and perfect as the second time. It fell squarely in the middle of average and whilst I’ve got no complaints, I felt the whole thing got a bit boring, sorry Phil.

Anthrax were on next so me & Sharpo headed right up front for the pit. I’m not sure how I’ve managed it but at the age of 24, I’d not seen them before. I still kick myself for missing both the final John Bush tour and the Joey Belladonna reunion tours. The set kicked off with a few classics and the pit was suitably insane. Indians, Got The Time, Caught In A Mosh, Madhouse, Antisocial if I recall correctly. Dan Nelson’s voice is excellent and his stage presence is good. Only complaint was the new song which I really didn’t get. Maybe on a few more listens.

Hellfest Sculptures at the bonfire

Following a decent set were the heavy metal titans that are Heaven & Hell. I saw them last year and they blew me away. I don’t understand how a band who’s collective age is 235 can be at the top of their game but they are. Their Hellfest set was a blinder. The new album is one of my favorite new releases this year and they played a good mix of old and new stuff.

Last band of the day for us were Motley Crue and they were without a doubt the most disappointing band of the whole festival. They came out to massive cheer and proceeded to slaughter every one of their classics as Vince fucked up every line. The only words he hit were the ones we know he can’t hit any more and the whole thing was almost definitely overdubbed. The missus had been looking forward to seeing these guys for years but 5 songs into the set, she had to leave because they were that bad. As we headed back to camp site, we heard Mick Mars mangle a Hendrix track, Tommy Lee’s usual “I say Tommy, you leave because we are so abysmal” chat.

Back at the camp site, we downed a few beers, nursed our sunburn, abused some foreigners and passed out.

Check back tomorrow for my review of day 2.

Photos are sourced from Flickr under Creative Commons License. Each one links to the original, if  you object to me using them, let me know and I’ll take them down.

yes, i’m talking about tech/prog/jazz/death metal’s finest, Cynic.

Cynic

Let me take you back to 1993. After 6 years of recording demos, being members of Death and generally being fucking awesome, Cynic released Focus. This album proceeded to kick the ass of every other prog/tech death metal band and set a new standard in creativity and intelligence for the whole scene.

Unfortunately this was a bit too much for the guys in Cynic who disbanded little over a year later. They went on to create some beastly and awesome stuff but nothing comparable to the perfection of Focus.

Well, its now 15 years later and they are back together and they’ve done it again.

Traced In Air

Cynic – Traced in Air is their second effort and it kicks (almost) as much ass as the first album.

For those of you who think Trivium are a valid band and that Travis Barker created technical death metal after Blink 182 split, before you fuck off and die, go buy this album. Everyone else, also go buy this album.

Its as intelligent and structured as a Dream Theatre album, as technical as an Arsis album, its heavy and melodic and pretty close to perfect.

It lacks some of the punch of Focus and definitely ranks lower on the face-breaking brutality scale but there’s no one else out there creating anything this good.

In conclusion, if you don’t go buy this album, I’m gonna personally come round and give you cancer with a hammer.